Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Can Drinkers and Non-Drinkers Get Along?

In light of a recent facebook post, I am begged to ask the question, can drinkers and nondrinkers get along? After asking a neutral question, "What is your opinion on alcohol consumption?" and getting a surprising amount of comments. I am taking it to the blog. Here's the discussion:

Michelle Mayfield
My opinion/belief: I am completely against consuming alcohol in any amount. It has so many negative effects on your body especially mind. It can be addictive. It makes you do stupid things you will regret later. It's bad for pregnancy. It's bad for children. It's a bad example to children. It ruins families. I'm proud to say I've never consumed alcohol.

David Wenk:
Michelle i thought u were quitting?

Joy Anderson:
Its the best pain killer there is.

Joy Anderson:
I meant that short term, obviously.

Jessica Ashby Silvernail:
The only good thing alcohol can be used for is a disinfectant for some wound on the outside of the body-definately shouldn't be used internally! I don't believe in cooking with it; no matter if the alcohol is cooked out or not!

Michelle Mayfield:
Ha ha very funny David!

Michelle Mayfield:
How are u David? It's been a while. We need to double sometime.

Amy Spalding:
I'm a proud non-drinker, too! I have to laugh because so many people Mark talks to are against anti-depressants, yet they drink!!! Hello-that's called self medicating- anti-depressants are much less dangerous!!!!

Annie DeStefano Yates:
I think there is NOTHING wrong with it in moderation! It IS possible to socially drink without having a problem....of course I am not from Utah or LDS so my outlook is completely different. Plus, red wine is good for the heart:)

Michelle Mayfield:
I appreciate all the comments and different views I am just curious what my friends think:)

Michelle Mayfield:
Is it possible to socially drink without the risk of addiction? Is this all handed down from parents examples/lifestyles. Is it a $ making scheme?How do you know when you've had too much? What about around kids...and having it in your house, they are likely to get into it. Especially teens. What good does it do to be a social drinker? Does good come of it. And is a heart benefit the only benefit? It's seems to me the bad out ways the good.

Michelle Mayfield:
Amy that's funny! Very interesting!

Christy Farrer Howard:
There are people that are prescribed it, even being LDS, because it is good for your heart and arteries. But that is only a glass of red wine a day. That is also in moderation which is a huge thing. I believe it is possible to be a social drinker for some but others have a harder time not getting addicted. But isn't that true with all things? Shopping can be an addiction and can lead to debt and trouble. As is food which can lead to obesity. The word of wisdom says moderation in all things and I believe that applies to more than meat and the specifics that are in there that applied to that time period.

Britney Yates Redd:
My view is a person isn't defined by whether or not they consume alcohol but how they treat others bc some of the nicest and most caring people I know socially drink.

Brandon Whimpey:
Well Christ was perfect and he did partake of the wine. So is it completely wrong?

Michelle Mayfield:
On the flip side of that, alcohol can and sometimes does destroy the nicest, most caring people. Then they become mean, selfish, and nasty. This is not a discussion about whether people are good or bad or what defines or does not define them. This is a discussion about consuming alcohol and why people feel the need.

Michelle Mayfield:
Brandon the wine he partook of was grape juice/nonalcoholic. As was the sacrament wine in old times...we actually had a lesson about it at church today:)

Michelle Mayfield:
Haha...nice try at justification though!

Annie DeStefano Yates:
About the kids...why would I hide something that I don't think is wrong? It's not like I keep a bottle of wine next to the fruit snacks in the pantry...to me it's not even a question of right or wrong, I'm over 21 and I like it like I like my diet coke:).

Michelle Mayfield:
Haha funny & True...that makes sense. I was just thinking like kids want to be like their parents. Like my girls like to get into my makeup and lipstick especially, and yet they aren't old enough. They like it because i like it. How do you teach them not to do it until they're 21. If they're taught it's not bad for you why would they say no to friends who offer it to them in teenage years. Why if it's not bad for you do you need to wait till 21?

Michelle Mayfield:
I honestly don't think if you drink you are a bad person! I know a lot of people who drink and are good people. I do think alcohol is bad for you. But That's for me to think for myself and nobody else.

Annie DeStefano Yates:
It's like teaching them not to have sex before marraige....you tell them and just pray they listen! It's a personal choice...it's not for everyone!

Brandon Whimpey:
granted in the Bible there are more than one word translated from hebrew that we now use wine in place of. However, the wine that Noah drank excessivley in Gen 9:21 did cause drunkiness. And in those days without refrigeration how would you keep grape juice from fermenting. In Mat 9:17 we see they kept them only in bags of animal skin

Brandon Whimpey:
understanding the new or the old test is fun hu? I sure dont . I would be intersted to know what you studied today however, let me know

Joy Anderson:
Im kinda of the opinion in general anyone should be free to do as they please, so long as nobody gets hurt in the process. That goes for religious addicts too. Human beings are horrifyingly flawed creatures...we can addict ourselves to ANYTHING...and hurt many others, whether we intend to, or not.

Jason Lynes:
wine in those days was totally alcoholic. so was the wine early Lds drank. love those mormon myths.

as far as my beliefs, I see it as a modern commandment. I've never had alcohol either, but look forward to a day where I can get sloshed up on some good wine or rum & coke. ha!

Tonya Scoffield:
Actually, the benefits of a MODERATE drinker opposed to a non-drinker include longer lifespan, fewer heart attack/strokes, less likely to suffer: hypertension, high blood pressure, peripheral artery disease, arthrits, bone fractures/osteoporosis, kidney stones, digestive ailments, stress, depression, parkinsons disease, pancreatic cancer, liver disease, hearing loss....and many others.
It thins your blood when you drink, which is needed by a lot of people. Also helps relax you after a stressful day.
Keep in mind...this is MODERATE drinks, not heavy drinkers.
The french, and many other cultures, use it also after dinner to help speed digestion.
I enjoy it for many different reasons...relaxation, to relieve tensions/aches/stress, to windown, etc. Plus, there is a certain amount of bliss as your sitting on the beach, watching the waves, basking in the beautiful sun rays, and enjoying an ice cold beer.

Michelle Mayfield:
I'm thankful I know what I know. I'm glad I don't need a beer to enjoy a sunset and a beach. And most child abuse does involve alcohol. Thanks for your comment I respect your opinion, but that said we are totally opposite in our beliefs.

Michelle Mayfield:
Sex within marriage is part of god's plan. It is the regeneration of the earth. It is a required action for the sustaining of life as we know it. Alcohol is not.

Tonya Scoffield:
I didn't say I NEED a beer to enjoy the beach...but it is a nice compliment for some things occasionally. It was an example of why I enjoy it at times, as per your earlier statement "why people feel the need". But mind you...it is not a NEED, just something that is enjoyed at times.
And I wasn't talking about actual child abuse, I was talking about childrens abuse with alcohol...abuse meaning drinking irresponsibly and getting into to trouble with it.
And you are correct....Alcohol is not required to sustane life, and don't understand the pertinence of the comment as I never said it was. I was just simply listing some of the many health benefits of alcohol in moderation.

And back when Christ was born, what do you think they used for medicine, antiseptic, anasthesia...ect. = alcohol. And this "grape juice" they drank was fermented grape juice, otherwise known as wine.

Kenneth Swain:
WOW! I must be the devil.

Michelle Mayfield:
Thanks for your opinion Tonya. We are two very opposite people that's for sure! That other response was for someone else. I see your point and I'm very thankful for a prophet who receives revelation for our day. So we don't have to live like people did hundreds of years ago. I think alcohols one and only good use is medicinal, but that's a different topic. Hope your doing well and enjoying the Holiday!

Michelle Mayfield:
Haha Jason! There's some things I just don't want to know. I'll try not to remember that:)

Michelle Mayfield:
You said it Kenny. Not me! Lol

Tonya Scoffield:
also, most religious people I grew up around are the quickest to judge, the quickest to outcast, to belittle people...and are some mean awful people....because you don't have their same views.
then those who weren't are the first ones to let you in when in need, never judge, completely open-minded and loving people.
Anything can be "good" or "bad"....or turn people good or bad. Isn't that why we're here? Free-will, to see the person you become based on actions?

I don't believe that drinking is a sin....and have never been told it was. The only reason mormons believe you shouldn't drink alcohol, caffiene, etc is because it is addictive, affects chemicals in the brain and inhibits your "free-will"
But......chocolate is the same as these (among other things).
So why is it ok to eat chocolate, but you can't drink caffiene? Chocolate has caffiene in it and affects chemicals in your brain more than caffiene.
So why the picking and chosing of what is good and bad and who decided this and based upon what?

Kenneth Swain:
I like you Tonya!

Chris Mayfield:
This is a great string of thoughts.

I read in men's health that any alcohol including Light beer reduces your ability to burn fat by 40%. That kinda sucks. For that reason alone I would stay off the sauce no matter my personal beliefs.

Personally I am passionate about getting to a lean athletic form and keeping it. I know that many high profile figures have professed to avoid the stuff when they are trying to trim down. I'm sure they just go right back to it after meeting their goals tho. ... See More

As for the health benefits, it's so true that there can be some great benefits to red wine but there are also many great benefits from other things too that will give you the same results if you care about that kind of thing. I personally don't know of anyone who drinks red wine for it's health benefits. It's almost almost always for enjoyment, taste and so on.

For me personally I'm pretty sure I would be pretty addicted to drinking. It's probably a good thing for me that my religion keeps me in check on the subject.

Regardless of my own opinion on the subject it's a fact that substance abuse is a serious issue and has caused so much pain in a variety of ways. But that's in it's abuse not in it's consumption. That's really not the question you asked.

Michelle Mayfield:
I'm not judging anybody!!!!! I've already said I don't feel consuming alcohol makes you a good or bad person. I haven't accused anyone. I feel it is bad for me that's my opinion, take it or leave it. And yes Kenny you and Tonya would be perfect for each other.

Michelle Mayfield:
Let's all agree to disagree . What's bad for me is good for you. Now go take a giant poo!

Jason Lynes:
let's discuss this further over some drinks. I know a place.

Tonya Scoffield:
ha ha...thanks kenneth.
and ha ha ha cousin....i didn't say you were judging me...just using an example of how even something as holy as religion can be bad depending on how it's used.
and this is a perfect example of how u cannot get someones full emotion from text. but your posts always do get me going. i love me a good debate though. keeps your brain going strong =)
and i don't need to poo right now. ;) he he.

Michelle Mayfield:
Haha! Tonya Kenny's cute! We really should set you two up!

Michelle Mayfield:
Jason that was so "Micheal Scott!"

Tonya Scoffield:
ah ha...well only of kenny lives close to redondo beach. =)

Michelle Mayfield:
Ditto Chris...you always say it better than me! :)

Joy Anderson:
<~~~also likes Tonyas opinion. I realize at this point we are beating a dead horse, but back to my point about humans being capable of being addicted to, or abusing others as a result of...I still have a testimony, but in my life I have been slapped across the face in the name of God more than once, and that has been far more devastating and ... See Moredestructive to me, than any of my bad moments in my wilder days. EVERYTHING in fair moderation, I think would be the key point to any side of this debate...would we all not basically agree? Its more about how it makes us do unto others as a result, whether it be booze, religion, dog poop, whatever.

Michelle Mayfield:
Why is it that being slapped across the face in the name of God is so devastating? Probably because it means so much to you. I feel God is the point of life. The reason we're even here. It would be devastating to me if I felt I was letting him down in any way. Good thing for repentance, for all of us.

I feel that most people that feel judged or get offended have low self esteem, probably attributed to guilt or ill life results from bad choices. Ive had people from my same religion offend me...but thats not going to take my testimony of its truth away. Usually that offensive person is having a hard time or needs a friend. And i just happen to be the one they take their frustration out on. I have rarely been offended by anyone in my religion btw.

Religion has rules and commandments and when you break those you are consequently judged, by God, Bishop, Priest, whatever leadership role is in charge.

People should be accepting of each other. Especially those who have fallen or don't know any better (basically all people), but it doesn't mean they should accept a bad behavior. I have friends that drink and I love and accept them, but I don't love and accept drinking in general.(per my belief that drinking is bad for you) People are not perfect. I am not perfect. God is perfect. Never judge a religion by it's people, because no one is perfect. But God and his teachings are perfect. Whatever religion you are...it would be a mistake to judge it by it's people.

Michelle Mayfield:
Free-will is why were here. But free-will is nothing without a path and plan back to our Father in Heaven. We were sent here with a our freedom of choice so we could choose the right and return to our Father in Heaven. Alcohol is a great way for Satan to take that free-will away. If you value a free-will, why would you want to risk it being taken from you?

Michelle Mayfield:
Chocolate doesn't remove your free-will. It doesn't make your senses dull to the point you don't know what your doing or saying. Caffeine in large quatities can be bad for you. But even in large quantities it doesn't take your Free-Will away. There's no picking and choosing, only facts. Too much choc on the other hand will make you FAT.

End of discussion so far...

Well can we get along? The Nondrinkers seemed to simply state their opinion, while the drinkers seemed to accuse the nondrinkers of judging, being mean, defining people, being non accepting, and being addicted to religion...which I'm not sure is such a bad thing.

Maybe deep down the drinkers know/have a feeling they are doing the wrong thing. This may be why they immediately feel judged. From all of the comments I think it's sad that nondrinkers are accused of all these things just to make the drinkers feel better about themselves.

It is true that you will most likely hang around with people who share your same values and beliefs. It isn't very fun for a nondrinker to be around people who drink. The conversation turns rank quickly, alertness is not equal between the two. I frankly don't want to see the drunk guy running around naked at the pool! And pretty soon you feel like your babysitting your alcohol loving friends. Not fun and cause for excuses not to hang out anymore.

When drinkers are with nondrinkers they have to hide the fact that they drink. They often say it's out of respect. That is sad they cannot be themselves for fear of being judged. And drinkers have a great fear of being judged. Maybe they should be worried a little more about the effects the alcohol is actually having on their lives. I've seen many people's lives ruined over drinking. Wives have lost husbands. Husbands have abandoned their families. Irresponsibility and partying. Alcohol often leads to drugs and spousal/child abuse. Drugs and alcohol lead to jail. I fail to see any good caused by drinking. Other than self gratification and a possible heart benefit, which can be made up for with proper diet and exercise.

It's okay to judge between good and evil for yourself...you have to. Unfortunately that may mean you don't hang around certain people very often. I do believe it's NOT okay to judge others, that's for God to do for all of us. Still you don't need to be like them, agree with them, or accept their behavior. We have to protect our beliefs and our families. The world is getting to be a more and more wicked place. Let's stand up for our beliefs. Let's choose the good that is still left in the world.